ahhh

I went home for the weekend.  

There was a lot of talk about prep school and lacrosse and my little brother going to oxford for an educational summer program where he can learn a lot of college level material and then go to see shakespeare plays at night, after touring museums and landmarks.

there was also a note in the mail without a return address saying that he was a drug dealer

the only things i have in common with my family are hereditary.

my eyes are an even mixture of my mother's and my father's.  my skull comes to a point like my dad's.  i have my mom's face shape.  but i have no desire for a luxury sedan or a house you can get lost in.  i don't see prestige in a good reputation or a fabulous academic record.  i'm not violent or passive-aggressive, and i don't turn the other cheek when something goes wrong.  my face doesn't contort itself when i'm angry.  i have no self motivation.  for me, bettering myself does not mean getting ahead in the world...rather, it's about being happy and feeling like i have a place to be.

my parents worked so hard to get somewhere comfortable, but everyday i've lived under their roof was another i spent thinking of how much i hated it.  they say they're happy because they have stuff.  a beach house.  a steinway piano.  an audi 8L.  they can send their kids to expensive schools.

but they don't really love eachother and they aren't really happy. 

jetskis, vacations, expensive dinners are not ingredients for happiness...and money is no replacement for love.